Play Benefits

Lawrence Cohen, PhD

Are you tired of nagging (or yelling) when it’s clean up time and your preschooler doesn’t feel like cleaning up?  Or do you lose your cool and end up with you and your child in a puddle of tears--while the toys are still strewn all over the house?  Using ritual and routine, here are some ideas to help make clean up time less painful for all.

Play a special song whenever it is clean up time: It can be a song about cleaning up, or it can be any old song you like (something that is fun and will get some focused activity).Sing along with the song yourself, and just start picking things up and putting them away, saying “this is the clean up song, this song always means it’s clean up time.”  Don’t expect your child to eagerly drop everything and start cleaning the first time, but over time the ritual and routine of this will sink in.

Don’t countdown to clean-up: Some parents try to give kids multiple warnings:  “In ten minutes it will be clean up time…in five minutes it will be clean up time….”  But, when the time comes, the child still won’t budge, or they ignore you, or they pitch a big fit.  Instead of a verbal warning that playtime is coming to an end soon, make physical contact with a hug, an arm around the shoulder, or a high-five.  Get down on their level and have them show you what they’ve been doing, and make a positive comment about it.  Then and only then let them know it will be clean up time soon.  Or you can say, “Can you show me what you made before we clean up for lunch.”  

Let them lead the charge: You can ask your child which clean-up job he or she would like, but don’t give too many choices since that is overwhelming. 

Follow up with a snack: It always helps to follow clean up time with lunch, a snack, cuddle time or some other nurturing activity, as the “reward” for cleaning up.